rambling

honestly just rambling for a bit because i need to get it out, even tho nobody is gonna read it lolol.

i have a seizure disorder, and i’ve been experiencing it for over 2 years. i finally got into the neurologist today(jan 26th) and he basically told me he thinks im seizing because of panic attacks. WHAT?!? idk i almost cried. i feel like doctors always profile me because of my prominent sh scarring. 

i quite literally do not have depression or anxiety, i have never had a panic attack and genuinely seize. on the floor. i experience convulsive seizures, absence seizures and atonic seizures. but apparently it’s because of anxiety. i’m so upset.

worst part is that my mom believes him, and she got mad at me. she’s insisting that he didn’t mean that, but his words exactly were: “well, it COULD be epilepsy, but that is the least likely. the other two options are that the seizures are caused by anxiety, or that it’s caused by a psychological issue.” HOW do you take that any other way??? i’m literally so upset about this. these seizures have genuinely ruined my entire life and they’re being diminished to anxiety. ffs