something hit me randomly (TW!)

(TW SH MENTIONED)

 it hit me on a random Saturday afternoon;

that I'm walking a long walk, walking and  running farther than I could 5 years ago,

drawing with my inky pen the old house I'd be terrified of even sketching 5 years ago,

after having a warm meal I didn't calorie track like I used to 5 years ago,

I could have never experienced this, or seen the things I'm seeing, or feel the branch I'm holding or the wind on my face as I'm drawing while sitting on the ivy coated brick fence of a beautiful, derelict home I like to visit here often on the adventures I go on.

and I wouldn't have met all these people that shape and break you 

or ate all the delicious and disgusting cuisines 

or played simple or complicated games 

or tried new exciting or boring hobbies

I wouldn't have changed more than I ever had if I listened to the voices in your head, repeating that I'm nothing and will do nothing as I held the cleaver 5 years ago. 

God I am so grateful for my past self and I hope they are proud of their future self.