keith haring.

i hate how the cycles of history manage to repeat themselves, over and over and over again; i know, it's the basis and point of the thing. people as a whole don't live long enough to learn from our over-arching history unless we read about it in books -- and most people don't. 'those who never learn their history are doomed to repeat it,' etc., etc.

but i feel like that doesn't -- or shouldn't -- apply to people who were there. to people who experienced these things before, to people who turned a blind eye to these things before the same way they're doing now, the same way they'll continue to do. i hate how the aids crisis is fresh enough in history for my mother to have grown up during it, close enough to memory for the stigma to still be prevalent, and yet the current pandemic is treated the same; millions of people die, and the government does nothing, because at this point it's only effecting the people they either want to work to the bone or get rid of, regardless. and the general public goes along with this.

hiv was the "gay disease," it was our "punishment," and it's still considered to be such by a good bit of the population. and now, covid-19 majority effects poor and impoverished people, houseless people, and people of color -- vulnerable groups that the american government's never been bothered to give a lick of a shit about, even before this.

your government doesn't care about you, your politics don't care about you, your "high and mighty, all-american" doesn't give a fuck about you except for the money that you can make him and the wars you can fund with your no health insurance, no childcare, no sick leave, no holiday breaks labor. the only thing that separates non-union work from servitude is a paycheck; and even that's a blurred line when you factor in the prison system. when you factor in the genuine slave labor that goes on in our prisons; people doing jobs they were never trained for, for a measly amount of money they can't use, while locked and restrained.

maybe i'm too jaded, but the aids crisis has been heavy on my mind -- and i know, different pandemic, different illness, different everything, but the treatment is the same. people are left to die and fend for themselves, in a system that can't even be bothered to pretend to care about them. as a queer person, i can't help noting the similarities; and i can't help noting how pissed the fuck off i am about them.

namely, about all the people lost to both -- all the brilliant, lovely minds and lives lost to something that people only started to care about once it effected their own circle; and still, some don't. some still refuse to, still think it's some grand divine punishment. 'humans are the real disease, the earth is better off without us,' is what my mother says -- but that's not true.

humans aren't the disease; corruption is. capital over compassion, that's the pin in the issue -- the straw that's cracking the camel's vertebrae and straining the joints of his knees. when he collapses in the sahara, it won't be the fault of the people responsible for creating or receiving the goods he's meant to deliver; the animal's blood is on the hands of the merchant who over-loaded him. that mammal's stained, red hide and fur is the direct result of greedy men trying to get the most bang for their buck, and not caring about the consequences of their actions.

the only way you heal a broken work-mule is by giving it feed and rest. but the administration doesn't give enough of a shit to give us that, so they'll ship us out in a back-brace and a kn95 after 4 days of unpaid leave, and pretend its enough. feign ignorance, feign concern or upset or lack of funds, when questioned. it's bullshit. it's maddening.

three weeks with pay could've fixed this three years ago. genuine action could've fixed this three years ago; but instead, look where we've gotten.

i'm going to bed before i work myself into even more of a frenzy. my head feels a little more clear, but i'm still pissed. goodnight.

-patch