i'm tired.

TW: mentions of suicide

I'm really tired with everything. like i have no motivation to keep on going yk? I genuinely feel so disconnected from everyone and i absolutely hate this feeling, the moment i need my person to confide with, everyone seems to make me the second choice (that's what my brain is making me think anyways) i'm just sitting there, waiting for them to text me first instead of me and they almost always only text me when they have their own problems or when they're bored. I know they care, but it just looks like they don't from how i look at it, but i know they care. If you've read this far already, thank you. but i don't think anyone will so i won't get my hopes up. I didn't come here to complain about my friends though, i'm here to complain about life, if i don't find someone to be my person, my duo, i don't think i'll get out of this slump. Yk, i kinda miss those nights with my old friends where we would chat about anything, but especially the deep conversations about life, although those are rare and i think i've only talked about that with two of my fav adult friends when i wanted to genuinely kill myself, i want those types of conversations again, it gives me energy to live one more day, but i don't want to force those types of conversations, they're best when they just randomly come up in the conversation yk? I've talked a lot about conversations lol, i really do love having deep convo's about life though. Sometimes when i'm sad, i want to vent to someone but i want to do it in one of my comfort games yk? But i can't ask a random stranger to download this game to me just i can vent, so i just keep quiet (i don't usually vent to my friends cause why would i burden them with that?) Remember those two conversations about life i've had before? Well they were both while playing that game so that's why i feel so connected to it. (btw that game is called sky: children of the light)

bmf?

enough talk of conversations and friends, do you want to be the person that i trust and hang out with on sky cotl every day and talk about anything and everything? no? oh sorry for asking then </3 lolol