I'm BI and I keep forgetting it💔

Okay do y'all let me start from the fact that I'm an Orthodox Christian,and I go to an Orthodox school,my country is very homophobic,especially small towns,I live in one of them,people around me are pretty much.....homophobic 99/100 and I have to say,before I understood everything about LGBTQ+ and stuff,which came to my knowledge when I was like 8-9,during lockdown,I really had no oponions over it.

I had this best friend,and she asked me if what I thought about gay people,I said I supported them(Like I thought they were pretty much normal) we would talk about it and stuff.

The other day she asked me and our other best friend,and she also saod she liked girls and was BISEXUAL. 

I also have to mention this guy in my class,he was real fun,yk the typical guy but also had no problem interacting with girls,he was like the girl's bestie,made fun of us and was close with us.

One day we were leaving school and he asked my bsf if she supports LGBTQ+ and she said yes and stuff about it,the guy said he also supported but read it out in bible that it was a sin.

Than he asked me,I said I really didn't give a fuck if someone around me liked a pole or hole. Which I genuinely dgaf if you're my friend and you like it shooting or rubbing or of you cut it of or if you glued it💁🏻‍♀️ idrc.(this is sarcastic and not like rude way to say it btw😭)

Or if you have the stick and wanna be called a princess,I'm calling you a princess.

And the other way around.

And he said it was a good answer,but he had me thinking about it.

Yk what had me worried? I was going through puberty,and I have to say I knew about sex at young age.

I would get wet dreams about girls or watch lesbian p0rN videos💁🏻‍♀️

So it worried me,bc as I said,my parents and family members are also homophobic,and plus,I am a Christian.

Some time after,I really thought about it,and there's no way LGBTQ+ can be a sin,but I couldn't prove it,bc I'm not really religious as in idk a lot about my religion,but I love my God.

I also have to mention,I had this phase of being little...homophobic.

Yk towards the people that got overly defensive about pronouns,I also didn't support trans people

(I'm sorry and I support y'all btw)

Some weeks ago,my friend sent me a video,saying how gays existed before Christianity and stuff.

I really was happy.

Also before that,I think in November 2025,I finally accepted that I was bisexual and it wasn't just wet dreams,I was attracted to girls.

I have liked two girls before that but I didn't really pay attention to it,since it was my mind going through a lot stuff and being overly s3xual.Which I hated btw.

Before that,about the best friend I mentioned and when she told me she was BI,I also said I was,because well duh,I liked girls at some point,even though I never had a long term crush on a girl.

In November ,I finally seriously came up to my conclusion,I'm no longer ever saying I'm straight (Online,well offline,I don't wanna be burnt alive or disowned,sorry)

But my problem is,I keep forgetting that I am a part of LGBTQ+ now🥀 idk how to explain but I feel like....I'm not? Like in bi counts as lgbtq but I don't really feel connected to it idk how to explain.

Maybe I'm not used to it?

I actually kinda didn't care about LGBTQ+ showing up in things a watched or read,but now it makes me happy for a millisecond,bc I'm also part of it...aren't I? But I keep feeling....idk out.

Does this happen to everyone or am I weird.