I Need You More Than Dope.

I'm sorry and I love you. my heart would break without you, might not awake without you. I left him, it hurts, it hurts less when I know how little he cared and how much he was lying about. he promised to leave if there was ever another girl, I yelled at him, I begged him to tell me that he hated me, to just leave him alone, I wanted him to yell, I wanted him to hurt me, I still love him and I feel shattered, he posted her, they were together, the last five months was so amazing and confusing, I graduated, I loved him, but I also fell heavily into addiction, drugs, alcohol and self-harm to the point where I almost died, but he was always there for me with open arms and open ears, it was that fucking band. he once told me he'd quit it if I'd ask and I thought about it, i really did, but in the end, I know he love preforming with those boys so I told him that I'd never make him do that, I feel so empty, I promised myself id never cut myself over a man, I'm 14 days clean as of today and the itch is there but I promised myself, I will not be like him and I will not lie to myself or break promises I've made with my vessel.  

I love you.

James, you made me happy.