(Vent) Church ppl but are fake

I really hate what my elders say to me. Why would I force myself to socialize with people I know is fake. They piss me off so much. She said I'm so selfish, I know no one besides myself, I need to learn to socialize. SELFISH the word I always hear from my grandma. I look like a ghost who always hide in one corner. I have my world they say. I will socialize if I think I'll be comfortable with that group. But these people always give u ridiculing looks, always observe and judge every thing you do. Talk behind your back, and when u got in a fight they'll spread it untill all people will know. They consider themselves serving God but they behave like that. I know I'm bad but I got worse when we live here. We live in the church because we're the caretaker here. I don't know if this counts as "talking behind their backs" too. But I just want rant.