Being unsupervised on the internet.

Hi it's me in angel! today i'll be talking about a bit of a personal experience and it'll be a bit heavy.

I'm starting this on the song "Earrings" - Malcolm Todd. 

Anyways you know what really bugs me? People who glorify being unsupervised on the internet it's so stupid to me because for me it's genuinely taken a toll on my mental health. Even though i wasn't entirely unsupervised i still was very exposed. And even though i've definitely learned to be more careful i'm still working through a lot of it. And it was mostly because of the glorifying of being a "weird kid" watching gore and more adult things at a young age.

Now it's resulted to me being desensitized to most of these topics. 

But theres also its good sides. I've found so many games that i enjoy. Horror films, Animation projects, Books, Youtubers so many things that do make me really happy.

But it did "expose" me and i grew up faster. Though thats another thing i would like to go into. Even though i am mentally "older" i still feel younger than most of my peers. I don't feel like i get most of the things they say i guess? And the more i've come to realize that the more embarrassed i've become.

Anxiety has taken a pretty big toll and the fear of "well this could happen" or various of other thoughts that are not as petty. But it's been hard for me to even leave the house or to talk to my own family. And i hate when people say "just don't listen to the voice" because it's not a voice it's a feeling, a just knowing. And i'm not blaming all of this on the internet because i know theres more to it but this is just what i wanted to start with.

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shifting progress:

I have not been able to get the tea yet so there's nothing to say about it yet.

And i haven't tried any methods due to paranoia but you know lol.

ending this on "my alcoholic friends" - the dresden dolls 

Unironically enough lol

(okay technically it's "freek'n you" - jodeci but i'm not counting it since it only came on after i stopped writing and i had to put a category.)