im a weird girl and i feel lonely... or some shit like that

These past few days have been strange for me; I haven't felt good about myself. I broke up with my partner and I've felt useless and stupid. I can't do anything right, and I don't think I'll be able to accomplish everything I set out to do. My mother told me that my performance is starting to decline and that it's not normal for me. On top of that, all the problems I have only make me feel worse. I need someone, and I know that all kinds of love exist, but I feel like sometimes I'm the problem. I don't open up to people much because I've always felt like I'm a weird, stupid person who's separate from everyone else, even though it might not seem that way. I live knowing that I'm different and that this makes people not understand me. Love is complicated for me. I love being with the people around me, but I feel like I can't be completely honest. I feel like I have to be with someone all the time. I always have these thoughts and imagine scenarios where that person is by my side and we're living together far from home, while I'm in bed hugging them and telling them all my fears, how I feel, and why I'll never be better than anyone. I feel like I can't talk about this with just anyone. I'm tired; I just hope I stop feeling this way.

Maybe I'll update this crap...