To Deal with a lot of Ideas

I'm in my twenties right now and I just have so many ideas that I want to start but fail to follow through. But I think what helped me is realizing that all the things I want to do are often times just romanticized "endings", that I want to be a journalist who is already writing prominent articles, or I want to be researcher who is already making a difference to people's lives, or I want to be a manager of human resources where I am already establishing the "heart" of a corporate office. All these are often times idealization, I try to start them and when I see things not being successful immediately or not meeting my expectations (which are often times too unrealistic), I fail to follow-through and lose all my motivation to continue doing them. 

I think it's because I chased them for the satisfaction of their perfect "endings", the delusional seeking of sensation in success, a means to an end, not from the act of doing them, or the grueling times of imperfection and working through them with diligence. Realizing all of that, it led me to conclusion that I have to recognize that it's just work, it's work that you sometimes just want to quit because you're not immediately receving the benefits you wanted, it's work like how you're forced to wash the dishes even when you don't want to do it yet because you know that the dishes will just be washed again as ever. We have to fall in love with that "work". 

We have to let go of our expectations of immediate success or benefits or the image we can gain, and just appreciate the humble act of working for our ideas. We have to focus on the act, we have to look forward onto doing it as if our lives depend on it. It's truly nice to know that we have this creativity of wanting to achieve, wanting to do something, to start something, to finish something, and they are important for us to dream of wanting to do live. But I realized, I have to balance it out by recognizing those ideas, those dreams, those expectations, into a part of my life if I'm willing to make it my whole life, in that way I'll be able to ground myself on the process and steps I must do first, and to embrace them fully that I'll stick with them despite the challenges I may face (such as writer's block) and if I am willing to do anything to get rid of those challenges. 

It's like getting in a genuine and committed healthy relationship with someone, that you have to get to know them, see them in all their parts including the ugly ones of their personality instead of just diving into "limerence" by cherry-picking their good or perfect parts of themselves, and deciding if you want to be with them while looking forward to the patient growth and healing of each other. You have to research and be educated on an idea that you're diving into, before you commit to them, or else it'll be like "love-bombing" for a hobby you want to do, bombing it with idealization or romanticization and leaving when things get ugly because they were not in your expectations.

You cannot just fall in love with the "relationship" of its image and entirety. You have to fall in love with being in that relationship and doing the acts needed like rigorously watering a plant despite the storms and the changing of weather. Therefore, I realized that to truly invest yourself for something you want to do, you have to recognize the "sacrifice" needed to do them, you have to fight the impulsivity and reflect on yourself if it's something you want for a short-term or for a long-term relationship of improvement.

You have to see your ideas as a person, as a human being that you might be in a relationship with. Ask yourself, is this dream something I want to work with for the rest of my life? Or is it just something I want to work with leisurely if I have available time? Can I work with this dream while working with other dream of mine?

Commitment to something is not easy. You have to hold it with your hands and protect its fragile parts from the different variables of the world. And sometimes, you might change your mind, and that is okay. You have to feel it in yourself if it's something worth to let go of. Life is meant to be experienced, we can have the freedom to choose to do things we want to do if we have the privilege of choosing them. But I wrote this to help myself and to help others be aware of the cost of that too much freedom of chasing many things yet failing to make something significant from them, due to refusal to the act of purely working for them.

Just like we cannot romanticize a relationship or selfishly idealizing a person's actions for us, we cannot do it too for the dreams we have in our small, little and fleeting lives. Experience, but appreciate even the smallest painful acts of doing so.