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I found my old camcorder from the Ye Olden Days of like 2014-2016 [I was but a youth back then], and boy howdy what a trip that was. I don't talk about it much but on account of the Brain Bonk [post traumatic stress disorder, with which I am diagnosed], I have a hard time remembering things. Usually that's a smaller issue, like I'll forget little things throughout a week or two and have to be reminded. The videos on my old shitty camera were like watching a stranger live my life though.
Apparently when I was younger I had a little bit of an Appalachian accent. I didn't remember that at all. It makes sense honestly, I used to be surrounded by the elder mountain folk on a regular basis, but many of those people are passed on now. When I got up in years, all of a sudden it wasn't cool to be audibly from Literally Where We All Lived, which in hindsight is ridiculous but we were middle schoolers. I lost that part of me along the way, which sucks massively.
Sometimes in the brain fog I forget that there was a time before things were so stressful and scary. The times in question may have been brief, but I'm glad to have found documentation of them.
I wish I could transcribe the feeling of walking around in the fields through the summer. The way the air smelled in the spring. But alas I cannot, and even if I could, I would just be perpetuating the very same 'living in the past' mindset that I'm trying my very best to leave behind.
With that being said, I have been floating the idea of bringing the aforementioned camcorder with me on my prospective travels. Something about old tech just gets me in the heart. We had it so good technology wise in the 2010's era, and tech has evolved so quickly that it feels like we never really got the time to sit and appreciate it for what it was.
To all you loyal Sports Fans out there, remember this. You will never, and I mean NEVER stop meeting yourself if you give yourself the opportunity to learn and grow. We aren't a species of stagnation. Keep finding out who you are.
- Eraser
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snowy_forest_emo
i do know the feeling of looking at pictures and videos of happenings i cannot recall at all. it feels depersonalizing to watch my body run around and talk, without feeling any sense of true connection to that boy on the screen! and u should totally video stuff with ur old camcorder. i dont think thats like being stuck in the past. rather it's recognizing the simplicity of something like a digital camcorder and how fun it can be to experience your day from a different perspective like that. of course, u should still live in the moment rather than focus on how good the video of it afterwards will be.
As uncomfortable as I know that feeling of unrecognition for the former self can be, I'm glad I'm not alone in it. I think you might be on to something though, ol' bessy (camcorder lol) might have some perspective to offer yet!
by Eraser; ; Report
i hope u make cool and fun videos with it :)
by snowy_forest_emo; ; Report
-ˏˋ⋆𝓐𝓷𝓷𝓪⋆ˊˎ-
Its scary when i look at a picture of myself and i dont remember the exact moment. I see myself and i just want to know what was being inside my head then, but only i can perceive the external view.