nostalgia is a fickle thing

hi, its been about 8 months since i created this account in 7th grade. im in 8th grade now, i turned 14 a while ago, and i feel a bit shameful saying im already feeling nostalgic for this era. when i was absolutely enthralled with all things 2000s, millionaires, frutiger aero, and all i wanted to do was stay like that, even when my interest faded, for as long as possible. just to prove to my parents im not a child and i can settle now. but i guess it couldnt last forever, and im not sure why teens are made to feel so guilty for going through phases. we all went through periods we want to cherish or forget?

i mean you never really realize how long ago something was until the date on your youtube video is a year ago or even two. and its not that long in the grand scheme of things, or for adults i guess, but that seems forever ago. i mean i only have like 5 years i can call myself a teen even, so i guess id want to look back on all of it, and they really dont lie when they say 13 is the worst age. id like to believe ive changed and got most of it figured out, getting over what other people tell me and finding my style, but i dont know when its all gonna be turned upside down again. 

i cant believe i miss missing something, but i guess im just going to be looking at all of it everytime i look in the mirror, like when i was emo, obsessed with japan and all things kawaii, millionaires listening 2000s addict (who would get bullied heavily if she did live then, lmao), or i guess now where i dont even know how to describe it..?

nostalgia is a funny feeling, a weird one. i cant believe id feel that way for something that happened even a month or two ago. i guess i like looking at the past better because im still afraid of the future, or maybe because the worlds going so bad, or maybe because its all losing color, or

maybe im just glad it happened