missed 3 days:update no one asked for

Hello to no one in particular but im sorry i havent written the last few days

what happened in the news shocked me and honestly ive been tired of talking on mute as just another "leftie" to get "owned" when we all have a life that matters and we have to admit our problems before we blame others, every single one of us has the capacity to listen i believe including myself and i just wanted to get that out of the way before i get into my ideas not that they have anything to do with the news but its just important to me to point out how this affects all of us

first idea was rest because ive been fighting a battle that shouldnt be mine, it doesnt mean ill stop but it means i have to slow down if im not going to burn out and if im not gonna slip up because research takes time but i cant take credit for this one as my mom was the one who had to tell me to calm down

second day idea was secret message henna which im also very sure im not the first to think of but what i have also been thinking of is posting art made from henna on skin that expresses my feelings and whats happening as artistic practice of abstracting historical events into simple images but back to hand communicating as i think it would be so cool since handshakes are still kind of a thing to be able to turn someones hand and learn everything you need at a glance. It would ofc need a base universal decoder since it would be a transcribed language essentially and would need to be widely enough known to be used so implementation would be tricky but just imagine the espionage stories you could tell and the preparation scene before hand could be all "calm before the storm" kinda theming with the slow lines of henna being drawn or honestly any other temporary stain like jagua but henna cones are just easy to get where im from and slightly cheaper.

and todays idea (remember the quality of idea doesn't matter just so long as i have one as im mostly just trying to avoid brain deterioration and promoting my need for knowledge) but i collected a bunch of paint samples that i really liked the names of with the colors and i wrote a bunch of painting ideas on the back because im going to paint something based on the names of the paint colors like "romantic moment" or "lazy lizard" and some ideas are cooler then others but ill finally have art fully thought up by me on my wall and not feel like im just piecing together things ive seen before but im turning it into something new thatll mean something to me and ill also be cutting them a little to fit the template i want so now i have free colored cardstock to play with and add to my reuse organizer i started this year since i get so many ads in the mail.

But yeah i applied to a local job and got refused soo im doing what i can but when you cant vote or run for any official seat its hard to make a difference so for now i just check in on my friends and neighbors and make sure they dont need anything while we have things to give and i really think thats all i can do right now beyond educating myself and refining self sustaining skills.

so now that im posting this past midnight double todays idea is: i want to learn how to butcher wild birds and fish since im already working on identifying plants which is easy to learn through books but i think with the butchering im definitely gonna need a visual of where to cut but anyways ive always wanted to hunt for my own food and id rather know how to do it before i get the permit and end up with a dead animal that i have no clue how to take care of properly and then i fuck it up and just killed the poor thing for nothing(┬┬﹏┬┬)

i dont have a good way to end this so ill leave you with a terrible book recommendation that will make you cry over how raw it is.

"Hardly Creatures" by Rob Macaisa Colgate, A gallery of poems