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If you ever want to start a Minecraft server, DON'T

I don't have any new pictures today since it's Saturday and I have no school, so here's one from yesterday with a different level of brightness.

I usually like lowering the brightness because it captures more of the sky's colours, but I just happened to take another one that wasn't as dark, so I'll send it here so that you have.

Anyway, unless you have it in you to be dealing with just way too much drama, don't make a Minecraft server because not only do you have to deal with that shit, you're like, legally bound to the damn thing. SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE. I DON'T EVEN CARE LET ME CUT OFF MY DAY ONES. I'M TIRED. I'M SICK OF THIS. LET ME OUT. Like, I don't even like 95% of these people, and the other 5% are people that I'm not sure whether I'll be forced to cut them off or not. This can't be healthy. Are normal friend groups like this or is this a Minecraft community special? I don't know! All my major friend groups since 2020 have been Minecraft SMPS, and I'm NOT going to be looking back at 2020 for an idea of what a "normal" friend group looks like, because 2020 was NOT normal.

It might be time to cut everyone off and fabricate a whole new identity you guys... let me know if this is the strat.

No but seriously, it's been bizarrely stressful. I feel like a horrible person for just wanting to be friends with my friends. I feel like a horrible person for trying to help them. I feel like a generally horrible person. I just feel like I've commit some cardinal sin. I don't know which, but... I just feel. Bad. Like I've done something morally wrong. Something unforgivable. I don't know if I have. That's the worst part, what if after a the drama and exposés, I'm the next one they gang up on? I've always been on the side of people calling others out, but what if, one day, someone exposes something I did? and I didn't even know I was wrong? That terrifies me.

I'm a really paranoid person. I've had dreams about this. It's bad. I'm really scared. I don't like that my friend group has completely fallen a part. I don't like that I don't know who I can trust and I don't like that I feel like the world's scum for seemingly no reason. It sucks. I hate it.

I bought that cd player I mentioned in 1. I was going to buy a cd drive, but it cost a pretty penny so I opted not to this time. 

There are more things I could talk about, but I'm just seriously tuckered out from all this drama. I'm tired of hearing my friends talk shit about my friends. I just hate all of this. And because I own the server, I'm personally responsible for all of it. I need to address all of it or I really AM a bad person. Fuck my stupid fat gay chud life.

My tear duct hurts. Does anyone know what that is? Kidding, you can't answer because I've turned off comments because they make me anxious. IDIOT!!!!

Sorry that was mean. bye. I love you.


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