I'm an awkward person :[

There’s a spanish song called “Invisible” by Cuarteto de Nos that talks about feeling invisible all the time, except for when you actually want to be invisible… I can relate.

There’s also a Taylor Swift song, “Mirrorball,” about trying really hard to be liked by others, trying so hard that it starts to get weird. I can also relate, haha.

I like to write my blog entries in spanish; I’m more comfortable that way. Still, I keep meeting really cool people here, and this is my way of letting them know beforehand: I’m awkward.

I don’t have many friends in real life, usually because I have RBF, lol, and I’m more of a serious person. But I swear I’m trying, haha.

The thing is, I’m starting to notice that I lose a little bit of control whenever I find someone I think is cool, someone I actually start to like. That’s when I start to care.

And I want to impress them, or be cooler, or talk more, and maybe I’m trying too hard… but I don’t know what else to do.

That awkwardness affects me even here on the internet. Even if I’m just texting with someone, the moment I decide I actually want to be their friend, I’m done, it’s over. The awkward, shy version of me comes out.

And I hate it, because it makes things harder.

This entry doesn’t have a good ending, nor a moral of the story. This is just me admitting that I don’t know what else to do and it actually makes me feel bad.

And maybe if you’re reading this and also talking with me, just have patience or tell me things straight up, because trust me, I need that, haha.

And if you read this and relate, we can be awkward together :)

—Blossom's out T~T