Vent typeshit

im gonna call him green for this cuz I don’t wanna use names or whatever

green: „hey, by the way, are you, like, still trans?“

me: „well, I still get pretty heavy dysphoria a lot of the time, and I don’t like seeing my body sometimes because it’s not a guys body, so I think-„

green: „cuz I think, like, that youre not. Like, anymore.“

me: „well,“

green. „Yeah, I just think you aren’t anymore.“

me: „I still hate seeing myself because I don’t look like a guy.“

green: „everyone hates seeing themself, it’s a common thing.“

me: „I know.“

green: „but yeah, I don’t think youre, like, trans anymore“

He whispered all this and then my friends showed me a funny video so it kinda stopped the conversation abruptly. Idk if my friends heard it or something, probably not

Chat I really thought it was going well, Ive posted about this before, be seemed like he was fine with this kind of thing. Idk what to say. I can’t stop talking to him. I’m disappointed in myself really. I’m always all for standing up for yourself and not letting others tell you how to live, and I always give advice that if someone doesn’t respect you like that that you shouldn’t talk to them. So it is really fucking frustrating that I can’t not talk to him. I can cut off literally anyone else, I can block people if they annoy me too much, I can make jokes to people who say inconsiderate things to me and then I walk away, but for some fucking reason I can’t do it with this one. I need to be around him or I think I will die. I see people talk about this kind of thing all the time and think it’ll never be me, I’m loud about myself, I’m proud of who I am. What the fuck

I don’t know what to say to him. I wanna bring it up. I’m scared of what he wouldsay to me. Do you hear me right now, what the hell am I on about

I didn’t think I would turn out like this, I always thought it would happen to others around me because it always does happen to others around me, everyone who has loved me has always been seemingly dedicated despite anything I do, and despite everything I try to say so that it doesn’t turn out like it did before. Now look at me, it’s different now but that’s just because I’m the one who cant let go of this guy, instead of someone who cant let go of me. He doesn’t even seem to think about my existence if we’re not alone together. I know this is just how normal people are and I am just used to being obsessed over but fuck

It’s fruit ninja time or whatever the fuck. Satan I’m really corny kill me rn

Edit I have a throbbing fucking headache and nobody’s home to unlock the door to get pillz this is hell