(01/09/26)

Ive been feeling really alone lately. I have a few friends but talking doesnt help. I hate looking around me and seeing everyone my age going to college and having partners and going out when all i do is work, do online school and sleep. I feel incredibly useless and no one has been helping. I dont know what to do other than write in the hopes that some of my emotions will calm down. Im so lost and confused and i hate being a young adult so much. Sure having a car is fun but i dont go out cause i dont have friends to go out with. All i have is 2 online friends. All of my friends are also younger than me and cant understand what im going through and i love them but they cant help me and it sucks so bad. My parents try to be there for me and support me but it just doesnt help how i feel. Maybe im ungrateful but thats just how i feel right now. I wish i could go to college like everyone my age did, i wish i could have irl friends and go out to the movies with them or go to the mall, i wish i didnt feel like shit every time i go to work. Idk what to do, this isnt the worst ive ever felt but it feels worse, i dont know how to explain it properly. Anyway, thats it for today, maybe tomorrow ill feel better.