how i as your talking stage view you n your sexuality

I've had a few talking stages in my life but two of them have really stuck out to me, both being in the beginning of last year. Anyway I'm starting with a bit of a backstory because otherwise it's hard to keep up.

I started my year with continuing to talk to the guy I've known since childhood; who I at this point had been talking to for two months with. It wasn't really moving forwards and he was very unsure of..me? I'm not sure it's explainable in words but that's the best I can do. He was showing some interest but very loosely, we met up a few times though.

 In around February I did something I'm not that proud of and reached out to a girl I thought was cute. I was very anxious talking to the guy and thought things had fizzled out between us. Anyway, life happens and the girl and I become very good friends. She gives me this girls snap she knows was queer because they'd had a thing but it didn't work out on either ones end. I add the girl and we talk for like 5 minutes until she asks "are you wlw?" I just look at the message like "how does she have the balls to ask that", anyway I tell her yes and now we both obviously have the same thing in mind.  

I find out my friend is throwing a party and the guy asks me if I'll go. It's like April by now and I'm actively talking to the girl and not so much with the guy. I say yes and he tells me he's coming too. I make my decision then and there that what I'm doing is not fair. (The girl knows btw because she asked me why she's not my nr1 on my bsf list and I explain; she gets mad we argue, later figure things out and now I'm telling her I'm ending it with this guy so we have a real shot). Anyway none of my best friends are at the party, it's me and a girl from my math class, plus the girl who's party it is who I'm comfortable talking to. Okay anyway I tell my math class friend I have to do this (she knows the lore, we gossiped in class) and she's just like you go girl. Ayway I reqruit her friend whose boyfriend is the guys best friend to bring them both here. I pull the guy to the side and I ask him what he wants, he says a relationship, I say I'm not ready; yada yada yada..! A few days later I ask him if he wants to hear a little bit mire in-detail my thoughts and stuff and he just goes "yeah sure". I tell him about the girl and about the 3 months talking to them both and he is just being very nice about it. Not a word about me being gay, no being mad; nothing. At this point there had already been a few gay allegations about him; not thrown by me but my friends (I had been thinking it before though). 

I tell the girl and Whad'Ya Know two weeks later she leaves me for a man..! How nice right, not ironic at all either. Anyway summer happens I get a girlfriend then school starts. I started a new school but the guy just so happens to be there. We go on a camp to start the school year off and I actually befriend the girl who I recruited to help me at the party (math class friends best friend). This however means that I have to now not only be with her boyfriend but with his best friends, THE GUY yay! So I have a whole girlfriend now, my ex talking stage is apparently sleeping in the room with me along with my friend and her boyfriend, my best friends boyfriend, 3 girls I don't really know, and me. The three guys are not supposed to be there btw which leads to the teachers coming at 2.30AM to get them from our room and they leave. Anyway week later the guy sends me a snap, I still have a girlfriend he doesn't know about. I'm interested in the guy though and I can't do my girlfriend like that so I break up with her (she has a new girl now whose so much better for her I'm actually so happy for her even though we're no contact). Anyway now I'm back to a situation-ship with this guy who I thought was gay or at least bi, I'm going through a breakup at the same time, it's now like mid- August. 

There's a party and he's there. I talk about it to my friend and I'm like should I go talk to him I don't know, she grabs him and we go to a room together right. I tell him "hey i'm bi, i just had a serious talking stage with a girl and i need you to be okay with that or we won't happen". He tells me it's fine as long as I'm faithful. 

So now we're talking again. Okay right anyway it ends like mid- November and this time it's him through a fucking message. Whatever it's something along the lines of "I'm not happy and I'm not interested anymore", that's cool I don't really care but whatever. Only thing I'm petty about, we had a matching costume at Halloween I could've served cunt (and did) EVEN HARDER.

Now btw his best friend who doesn't care about gay people as long as it isn't like his best friend or girl also thought this guy was gay after I brought it up to his girlfriend (my now best friend who is also fluid). We're not the only ones and I think he's in love with his best friend of 2 years who has a girlfriend; the guy have him his HOUSE KEY?? Back to the girl. We reconnected and have been talking because she broke no contact. I love a little game so I'm acting like I'm totally heartbroken (she deserves it trust)_ and I asked her if she's had a girl after me, she went no and went on to add you're the only one I've been seriously into. I call bull because come on? She's had like 5 guys and I'm the only girl she's taken seriously and we didn't even get there ohmygod. I asked her if she really is even gay and guess what; I didn't get a straight answer (see what I did there) and she just lowkey avoided the question and came at me with the "it's been a hard journey" bitch please I've heard that before from a girl who later told me she wasn't even gay. 

Am I a dick or is all of this valid.

-Ames, feel free to leave kudos if you enjoyed!!