scared

my conscience cant deal with me wanting to live the way i want to knowing the world is in ruins. its not even extravagant or anything. i just wanna be a psych np and live in a cute house with a cute garden and i exchange what i harvested with my neighbors. i wanna go to work in a bike till i get to the subway (i luv public transpo and hate cars <3), i wanna make my own clothes and be pretty and have time to do my hobbies, i wanna thrift vintage furniture and personalize my own home, have a nice wife thats ok with a quiet life and doesnt mind my flaws, we go on dates and do stuff together, i want to pull away from the world now and live at my own pace, but i cant want these things knowing sm is wrong with the world. children, women, poc, the working class, countries who were colonized not even being free up until now despite the un, i cant live peacefully in a world where the ones that run it are ppl so disgustingly selfish and cant seem to understand that a world that is fair and kind to everyone is sooo much better than a world where there are power imbalances. 

p.s. to all the woke ppl out there, do you think that its so dangerous that current events, are being discussed more accurately on social media apps by informed citizens rather than official news channels ? like i cant wrap my head around the fact that the news channels people rely on are the ones that cover up issues for the government, i feel like the press should be one of the people's biggest allies, but its come to this? the press is trusted bc its formal, and no matter how informed people are in socmed, not much will be able to listen with the heaps of misinformation dumped on those same sites. why cant we look at the news and know whats actually happening instead of them being controlled by the government?