2026

I’m being pretty annoying, I know, but whatever xd I only have like 8 friends here and I’m pretty sure no one’s even reading this lol. But honestly, this is kind of addictive. I can’t stop writing. I really like it, especially because it helps me let things out.

This blog entry isn’t going to be about being a teacher; it’s going to be about me in 2026.

I’m at a really weird point in my life. I’m 23 years old, and even though there are a lot of things I’m sure about, there are many others that I’m not, and I feel pretty lost. Very lost. I know what I want to be and what I’d like to keep working as, but it’s true that I don’t know if I want to sit the public exams or not.

I feel like studying for those exams would literally turn me into a slave with no social life like dedicating my entire existence to studying. And honestly, that’s not something I want right now. But at the same time, I also think there’s probably no better moment to do it than now. For those who don’t know, these exams are basically the most important ones if you want a stable job as a public worker here in Spain. But yeah… I have zero motivation.

I also feel like I want to do something more. I don’t know if that means studying another degree, but it feels pretty impossible right now, at least at this stage of my life.

This year has been really strange. I finished my teaching master’s degree and I started working, and honestly, in that sense, I’m really proud of myself. I got out of my comfort zone. Even so, emotionally, it’s been a shitty year: lots of anxiety and a lot of stress. Thank god the cause of that is no longer in my life and never will be again.

It affected me a lot to relive moments and behaviours from the past because I didn’t know how to set enough boundaries. Boundaries… what a word, right? I’ve felt so weak for not having done it sooner. That’s why this year I don’t want to repeat the same mistakes.

I want to actually set goals and really stick to them. I want to learn how to set real boundaries, to distance myself from whatever doesn’t bring me peace, to be more consistent with what I have to do, more responsible in all aspects of my life, to use less social media (SpaceHey doesn’t count it’s been a discovery for me), to read a lot more, and to work out more.

As for smoking… I’m not quitting that (my peak hypocrisy: I have asthma lol), but aside from that, I think everything else is fair to want to work on.

When it comes to relationships and guys… well, I don’t really know what to say. I’m not looking for anything. I feel very calm, and unless something truly extraordinary appears, I don’t want anything with anyone. The fact that a lot of people only want me for… you know what, doesn’t make me feel good. I think I’m more than just a body, and I’m going to stand by that. No one’s playing me anymore.

Anyway, I guess I’m not the only one who feels this messy and disordered sometimes... but I suppose that’s kind of what life is about. Tomorrow I’m planning to actually start taking the exams thing seriously, along with everything else I’ve mentioned. I’m even going to wake up early.

Let’s see how it goes… Good night xx