Vent...0_o

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳Hii guys to a new blog with AshesDuxi^_~!!---;;/*°^

Today I'm feelin'  very bad. H..................................???????? 

So i will vent here,cuz,nobody hears me here,heh..:∆

Letz start!⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆

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🙁

I'm not okay btw. 

I know ts is bad and i understand the situation but...

why i'm alive at ts point-???

The return to school is approaching in my country, Venezuela, and I'm really worried because every time the return to school gets closer, I get strange symptoms of depression.And I HATE THIS. (ﾉ｀⊿´)ﾉo

FIRST, MY CLASSMATES ARE ID*OTS, THEY ALWAYS LEAVE ME ALONE IN EVERYTHING AND I'M VERY QUIET, I'M THE QUIET ONE IN MY CLASS, THEY DON'T TALK TO ME, AND ON TOP OF THAT THEY SEPARATED ME FROM MY REAL FRIENDS BECAUSE OF A STUPID AUTISTIC GIRL WHO WAS A F*CKING ATENTION SEEKER.(no hate to the autistic community, it's just one person out of everyone else, I'm just making that clear because that's how I recognize her in this moment ;"<) (ง˃̶͈⚰˂̶́)ง⁼³₌₃

On top of the teachers being horrible, my school is so religious and strict that it even seems like a CULT.ᕙ( ᗒᗣᗕ )ᕗ

btw, THEY HAVE SUCH HORRIBLE RULES THAT MAKE ME WANT TO VOMIT, THEY SICKEN ME AND I CAN'T LEAVE BECAUSE OF MY PROGRESS THERE,AND FOR THE MONEY TOO.( My parents don't want to change me either)(눈‸눈)

THE RULES ARE LIKE:

Uniform: Skirts below the knee or you go to the office and you're a wh*re, no accessories or anything, no decorations in the hair, no makeup, no phone, no entry if you're late unless you have a record, you can't enter with jackets or umbrellas, you can't enter if you don't have the institution's insignia SEWN ON THE SHIRT, no kisses, no hugs, no holding hands, no running, no walking during class hours, raise your hand to be able to do something in the classroom, don't open your eyes while you pray, don't upload photos or videos of the institution.౨ৎ

AND IN THE CHURCH:•︡ᯅ•︠

Do not get up, do not go to the bathroom, do not go to drink water, close your eyes while praying, obligatorily pass in front of all the people to do activities (no matter if you have anxiety or not), do not study or review notes during the entire church service (including all school notes), if you raise your voice you will be punished, if you are LGBTQ you will be condemned to torture in hell, if you are from the therian or alterhuman community they are going to force you to go ALONE with the pastor to tell your family and EVERYONE what you do, if you have addictions like self-harm they automatically kick you out of the church and you have to wait, They also do chants but you have to force your voice too much by obligation or they take away your academic grade, it doesn't matter if you are in pain or sick, you praise and THAT'S IT.౨ৎ

SINCE I HAVE TO PRETEND TOO MUCH, I'M JUST A NORMAL AND QUIET "GIRL???" WHO DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO ANYONE AND IS OBEDIENT OUT OF OBLIGATION, BUT DEEP DOWN I'M A THERIAN, GENDER FLUID, DEMIAROMANTIC, AND BISEXUAL PERSON WHO LIKES TO DO CRAFTS AND ANIMATIONS SOMETIMES, WHO IS ALSO IN LOVE WITH A NON-BINARY PERSON FROM ANOTHER CLASS.𓍯𓂃𓏧♡

I'M NOT JUST A STUDENT, I'M A PERSON WHO DESERVES FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION !!!! 

"No, but you're also better off at home! " I have to pretend to be normal under a homophobic and transphobic family, who say that those who are different are more likely to be homeless.

EVERY DAY IS MORE PRESSURE, I HAVE FREQUENT EMOTIONAL CHANGES, I GET IRRITATED EASILY BUT I HAVE TO HOLD ON, AND I ONLY WATCH SPACEHEY OR VIDEOS TO DISTRACT MYSELF FROM REALITY T_T

... 

Why..?

Why do I feel like this if I should just be happy?

... 

My self-harm scars are a reminder of what I once found happiness in :"<(Cutting myself was my way of escaping, calming me down from everything, but it had a bad ending, I've been clean since October 2025)

Pls dear reader,can you say to me:

You are very brave, I am proud of you.♡

Just one time?T_Tᰔᩚ𓂃𖡼.*ﾟ‎ཐི༑ཋྀ ⋆ 

Atte;;AshesDuxi^_~!!