new years

New years was crazy. I had been staying at my bsf's house the whole week and we were gonna celebrate new years there too. 2 of our friends came and we just chilled a bit and then the party started bc my bsfs moms friends came. We got high asf ofc and it was all just really fun. music, talking, fireworks. I took more every hour and then it was midnight. We went outside and smoked whilst watching fireworks and I swear fireworks were never that pretty before. we opened a bottle of champagne but I was going bad that hour so I didnt drink it. at 1:30 I was back alive and we chilled upstairs. then at 2 my bsf went to sleep bc he was tired. The rest of us went downstairs to sit with my bsf mom and friends. My jaw was tweaking bro I have no clue how we didn't get catched. probably bc they were too drunk to notice themselfs. and you might think its weird to go hang out in a house without the person the house is from being there, but I've been coming there for over a year almost every day now and I practically live there. My bsfs mom litterally calls me her second kid. In those hours 2 people had beef but that was over in 20 mins too, and then at 7 it all went down. Cause they wanted us to go to bed but we couldn't sleep cause we were on drugs. And a friend of my bsfs mom grabbed me by the arm really tight and pulled me across the room to the stairs and that's when I crashed.(I've got a lot of trauma from my dad) I fell on the stairs and got a panic attack. my 2 friends stayed with me and about 10 mins later the friend that grabbed me had left and my bsfs mom and another friend of hers came to help me. He was so sweet, he asked me what I needed and he gen wanted to go beat the guy up for me. (I've seen this guy before btw he's so sweet and he used to be friends with my mom and dad when they were my age). Another one of my bsfs moms friend came to help me and soon I was laughing again bc they were making jokes. The drugs had worn out completely cause of the panic so that kinda sucked. We went back to sit on the couch and I calmed down, we talked about it for a while and my bsfs moms friend that came second by the stairs gave me his number so I could text him (ive had a little crush on this guy for about a year now mb!) if I wanted him to talk to the guy that grabbed me. I'm way too scared to do that, plus I wouldn't really know what to say. Then I got my THC pen and me and my 2 friends started to hit that. Mind you, I needed it, I just started the year with a panic attack. All 3 of us basically coughed our lungs out and we were being stared at like we were some exotic creature. (What I understand cause who tf starts coughing at exactly the same time) one of my friends went upstairs cause he was coughing so bad he coukdnt breath and then it was only me and this other friend left. my bsfs mom went to play a game with her friends and I was so geeked. Everything was extremely funny cause they were fighting about the game. We couldn't hold our laughs anymore and started non stop laughing for 30 mins. I started seeing shapes too. In the meanwhile someone had fallen asleep next to us on the couch. And then we finally decided to go upstairs at 7:30. We still couldn't stop laughing and I could barely walk. It was so awkward cause we were trying to say goodnight but the sounds werent coming out right because I couldn't stop laughing. Then I just gave up and went upstairs. My bsf had woken up and we just talked and laughed for an hour ong with all 4 of us and then we all went to sleep. So thats how crazy my new years was. Kinda felt like a houseparty tbh. Talking about that I could use a house party rn.