7th// 29000//

I took a step into a sojourn of malice once, a small bothy where I found myself alone, how far of the truth have I fallen to see that minuscule cabin turn into my paradise; The only paradise one can think of, I think, of those days where everything was simpler and one didn't had to quiet their heart in hopes to silence the voices, those who are reaping the fruits of the soul over the body, those who seeded the morning and left the entire year, eons happened now, in my mind that time is uncountable yet, firmly stated in my memory, the words said now far gone into obscurity, the memories there regained, kindled back to a molten fury, a particular fury, one of passion and yearning, of craving, of needing, of desiring.

A fury that is turning porangi in the fire, one that burns and itches, it burns my insides and my outsides, it shows the marks left by me by my past, it makes my mind cry out loud in this stupid game of memory, my eternal curse, to remember those words and those sounds to remember every talk and every day, everything that I spent and I gave, that I annoyed, can't I feel less? I need to feel less? I will feel less? I can't feel less. It's unbearable the pain that this day is for me, it's just too much for my little heart to hold. I might have deceive everyone that though I was cold and rude or intimidating, or a stone, I am if anything a mess, a rambled up mess that is softer than gelatin and somehow spicer than any hot sauce. But now I feel my fire returning and with it returns the pain.

And maybe the fire was put off in the past, but the notices are, oh, so big, I desire to turn back the track to rediscover that graceful song that you were, those amazing strands of hair that you left. Those teeth grinding against each other for one or other occasion, mostly given by me, those eyes, hazelnut dreamer, that non existent fame, that spouting obelisk that rised from my words when you were on my heart yet, even gone and death, god bless your soul in my furious mourning, today's your birthday I never forgot about it, I will constantly remind myself that today you were born and I was gifted the gift of you, you were not my moon or my stars, not my ocean or my sand, not even the sun but my clouds. You were if anything, my small treasure.