I HATE MY GODDAMN EX.

Okay, for context, I dated this guy, lets call him by his real name because that's how much he had been pissing me off recently. I dated this kid named Bretton (Brett for short) for about a year and four months WITH two or three breakups in between that time. Mind you, this was long distance relationship. (however, we still kept in touch anyway smh). I have been on and off with him for plenty of reasons, one being that my mother convinced me that the relationship was toxic (in which it was, I was blind) and I feared being in another toxic relationship. I don't remember the second time but I do remember is that (and this is gonna be a long story so I can skip this I'll indent where it ends) he told me he dated this girl Eva and it wasn't a long relationship because she had backdoored him and talked to him while talking to other men. Okay, whatever. What I DIDNT KNOW was that they were best friends. Yep people, you heard that right. The same girl that he constantly claimed he hated was BEST FRIENDS with this girl. Now I wasn't aware of this until I was hanging out with Brett and he was drinking just for fun on a VR game. Eva had joined us and I had no problem with her whatsoever before so I was hanging out with her. Long story short we end up growing bored and we share selfies with one another as a typical teenage girl would do. She proceeds to say "oh haha I love this picture" and I look down and I'm staring at an arch pic. YES, A PICTURE OF HER ASS (thankfully clothed). I didn't say anything because that's fucking weird but then I think "wait. if I have been talking to this girl for like hmm..i dunno FIFTEEN FUCKING MINUTES and I already get sent a fucking arch pic, what the FUCK had my boyfriend seen." So, righteously, I get PISSED however, I don't lash out. Later in the night I continue to play my VR game and I drag my at the time boyfriend to an instance where I can draw and paint in Vr. He enjoys it, we have a great time, fucking fantastic. Suddenly, Ms "I'm gonna show my ass to the world" joins and I DREAD what is about to follow. She proceeds to borderline BABY MY BOYFRIEND SAYING "ohh my God what are you doinggg??? He cant be drawing and stuff drunk he needs to sit down and drink waterrr!! Go. Go drink water!!" AND MY FUCKASS BOYFRIEND LISTENS? HE LISTENS TO HER AND GOES TO SIT DOWN WHERE SHE MOTIONS. OH MY FUCKING GOD. She leaves thank GOD and I immediately walk over to my drunk boyfriend and I go "get off the game I'm going to bed." and NO I DONT CARE IF I SOUND CONTROLLING MY BOYFRIEND WAS BEING BABIED BY HIS BEST FRIEND EX RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. ANYWAY, at the end of the day, I'm not sure what's worse. The fact I got sent an ass pic, the fact he accepted being babied by his ex, or the fact that when I checked her Snapchat selfies that she looked NOTHING like me. I'm taking blonde hair, big chest, big bust, volleyball girl, possible Swifty, the whole NINE. I just for measure am the girl In the selfies listed below. WE LOOK AND ACT NOTHING ALIKE.

MOVING ON.

 We had just started talking again around I wanna say August which was because I dumped him for being rude and writing me an entire paragraph that was literally made FULLY FROM AI. Now, I myself am EXTREMELY against AI and I know he is well aware of this. Moving on we end up talking again as I said in August. We had been dating through that time till October when September becomes a bit Shaky. Due to this being a long distance relationship, we relied on video games for a pass time and quality time in general so, when my VR headset broke, we started to (and for some reason) become more irritable twords each other and it just felt empty. I have never had a face to face relationship once in my life as I'm a bit of an oddball and my entire life I had been dating long distance as I enjoyed that the relationships were primarily based off personality and not physical looks or attention. So, this wasn't too much of a big deal for me. Yeah, I would get bored because we would be playing the same two games over and over and over again. But, twords early to mid October we started slowly arguing more and more. Now, not to say my actions were justified, they absolutely were not and I have since grown to not act in a way, but I was prone to being negative a lot because of past relations and how I was treated. We were playing a game and I was venting to him about how scared I was that he was going to cheat on me or fall out of love with me and he pauses and says WORD FOR WORD "why do you always look at the negative shit all the time?" the way I genuinely just sat in silence for like ten minutes was ABSURD. WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD THINK THATS OKAY TO SAY???  Anyway, moving on from that incident, he started being rude to me on a daily basis. Now, not to trauma dump or anything but my father has severe anger issues and my mother has a harsh temper and a loud mouth. SO, I am EXTREMELY and when I say EXTREMELY I mean EXTREEEEMEEELLYYY sensitive to being yelled at, hearing things being hit or destroyed, or being around angry people in general and like I said before HE WAS WELL AWARE OF THIS. As I said, he began to grow more aggressive and rude. He would yell at me daily, sometimes even multiple times a day and my mental health was already SEVERELY bad. This, simply made it worse. There was one incident where he had said to me he would be going to hangout and ride quads with his friends. Okay that's fine and dandy with me. Hours go by and I simply check in on him to make sure he's okay because he had told me that he had gotten injuries from messing around with quads before. I asked him hat he was doing and he had said he was backpacking to which I responded with "Oh that's cool!!!! Isn't backpacking where you hold onto someone while they drive? like you're a backpack kinda??" I then asked "oh btw who are u backpacking with?" just curious because I didn't know that his friends liked driving quads either. He responds saying "No? that's not what backpacking is." So I respond with "Oh is it not I'm almost positive it is? I used to backpack with my dad when he used to go on his motorcycle a lot lol" and he FREAKS THE FUCK OUT he responds with "NO THATS NOT WHAT IT FUCKING IS IM NOT FUCKING BACKPACKING" or something similar to that. Im scared to go back into our messages so I fear I cannot quote anything qord for word as I have a bad memory and as I said I do not want to go back into our messages and I probably never will. Back to what I was saying though, after him literally being rude to m over text to which he normally isn't, I ended up crying and I mean SOBBING until he was free and he could call to comfort me. He PROMISEDDDD he wouldt do it again, to which he did anyway and this time it was about how I didn't feel safe communicating my problems sometimes to my partner. For context, my ex boyfriend Julio was a dickhead. I couldnt communicate with him as he wouldnt bother with it or he would yell at me for even the smallest thing so, I'm almost positive it was just something I did because I was scared to explain to him especially after him calling me negative and or yelling at me again. He had stated that I "ALWAYS SPREAD OUR FUCKING BUISNESS TO EVERYONE IN THEIR MOTHER" adding in broken heart emojis almost as if it was a fucking joke. I end up crying again and calling him late at night because I was very upset and wanted to be comforted. Now, this is the most mentally ill I have genuinely ever been in my entire life. I was thinking of commiting, I was continually doing SH and I was not eating whatsoever. Moving on, later that night my mother finds me on and she grounds me for a week. When I tell you that was just enough to convince me to dump this boy I MEANT IT. I procrastinate for the duration of the week and eventually, on October 29th, I break up with him. He claims he'll change (which he had said he will do over 37 fucking times) and he says that he's really upset about me not wanting to continue on with the relationship. I told him that this was seriously the last time I would EVER speak to him again and I kept that word...sorta. One night I kindaaa got a bit sentimental and reached out to him in which we ended up talking for a little bit. I log onto discord one day, going to see if he had texted me..and...he didn't? That's weird. I check my profile and in his bio I see the stupidest 5 words I have ever seen in my life: Taken. I left that group and seriously have not talked to him to this day. Flash forward to new years. Im about to go to bed and I see a notification pop up on my phone and its my lovely online friend DC who I have been out of touch with since my headset broke. He says happy new years yadda yadda and then tells me that my ex Brett is single? I check his profile and he definitely is so I dunno who broke up with who but it only lasted probably hardly a month. I dunno when they broke up but apparently in a server I am in he put in the venting portion of the server on December 26th: "I wish I could go back to July 5th, 2024. My life was so much better back then." and I 'm sometimes a evil human being but I laughed. I laughed and laughed and laughed. Even showed my mom the screenshot. When I tell you I was fucking cackling over this because seriously, who's fault was it that I left the relationship? HIS? Maybe Brett, if you weren't such a DICKHEAD maybe we would have worked. anyway but that's my long ass story for y'all and when I promise y'all I'm over this man I mean it. Anyway hope this makes sense for y'all and have a whimsical night!!! XOXOXOOO

Selfie below so when I'm comparing myself to the other girl in the first paragraph you can gwim. :p