i might be the most sensitive h0 in the world

i just got called lazy n useless whatever by my aunt bc it took me a long time to think my college programs over and the applications are already closed, like i can still apply one year later but i'll fall behind is what she's probably afraid of and i am too but i think i'll actually blow my fucking head off before i can go as much as send another application in because there's a high chance i'll be taking a program i never wanted and have zero knowledge about, and if i fail no one will hear from me again. i wish she could underestimate what i want less but fuck it right

jesus i need a whole pack of cigarettes to ease my actual pain i hate hearing her say that to me even though i know she's probably right

but wish me luck i guess

there was no other way of posting this without it sounding untuff and corny