2026 goals

i know i am late to this but i wanted to post this anyway.

general goals:

- take things more slowly. i always tend to rush things and never see them through to the end. i never appreciate the process, only chase the end goal, even though often times i don't even know what the end goal is. it's exhausting and unsatisfying, and i'm trying to build my attention span back up

- see a psychiatrist! i've been putting it off for years but i know i'm neurodivergent and i'm struggling and i need help

- talk to people; i always get irrationally scared whenever i am in a social situation. i don't like it and i think the way to get better is simply to talk to the people i want to talk to and just go out to social events and try my hardest not to worry, even though i become physically nervous and stuff. the other thing i want to do, which is related to this, is actually be myself, because a way of coping with my anxiety in social situations has been putting up a shield between the person i project to the world and the person i really am. probably also something to do with being neurodivergent. but frankly, it's exhausting, and it makes a lot of interactions feel disingenuous to me. i would love it if i could just exist as myself.

- be less online. self-explanatory. there are so many cool things i could be doing and experiencing in the real world instead of feeding into the attention economy of social media. exceptions to this are youtube, because i <3 long-form content and dan and phil, spacehey, because it's actually quite nice here, and my nekoweb

specific skills:

- get better at drawing!! i suck at most things when it comes to drawing, but i've improved a lot since the beginning of last year just because i draw more often now, and i hope to continue this into 2026

- continue working on my html/css/J*VASCRIPT skills. i like to consider myself fairly versed at html and css nowadays, but i still really suck at j*vascript. i should like to change this. (i have censored j*vascript because spacehey thinks i am trying to use it in this blog post if i type of the word, which isn’t allowed)

- crochet more. crochet is the perfect mixture of stimulating and repetitive for me, and it goes well paired with watching something on youtube instead of playing subways surfers alongside it, which i am guilty of on many counts. i would eventually like to be able to do the two activities completely separately one day, though. but my attention span isn't that developed yet, lol

- write more. writing is probably my favourite hobby of all time. it allows me to express myself better than any other art form. it's amazing, and i really resent that i don't do it that often anymore. i would also love to join or at least contribute to my university's magazine. the team seem like a cool bunch, and it would actually pressure me to write

- learn how to sew/alter my own clothes and accessories. i'm... a bit rusty with the sewing machine, i'm not going to lie. however, it's nothing i can't relearn, especially since i am a sincere believer in slow fashion and not wasting clothes. also, i would actually like my clothes to fit my body, thank you very much

- begin producing music. fl studio calls to me. it really does, i hear it sometimes before i go to sleep. it's like: "viiiiic, you want to make cool music with me soooo bad!" on the same note (geddit?), i want to sing more, since singing is my other favourite hobby in the world, and on that note, actually practise my guitar and keyboard.

- last but not least, i want to start doing a monthly... something. i'm not sure yet. but i like the idea of it being physical media, like a small zine or something, to commemorate every month, since i have a bad problem of entire years just blurring together in my head. this would also be a practice in consistency, and just generally cool to look back on at the end of the year.