Chops

I had you in my grasp and i let you slip away. I don't think i can forget that night. I peeled back your skin and i saw flesh, we were on the same level. You went from a god to my dearest friend. It was nice to lay on your floor, you didn't mind you didn't make me say anything. I always feel that no matter what you always know what to do, i don't know how you learned. I wish you'd teach me but i think it is too late. In 5 months you're leaving for good, i didn't think it would come so fast. If i'd known i would have held you just a little bit tighter, i would have treasured it everytime you pinched me, or stepped on the back of my shoes. You told me you felt unlikable, but i've liked you since the day i was born. I watched with awe in my eyes from the cradle as you sang and you told me stories, i don't think i ever stopped. I don't think there is a pain quite like losing your sibling, and what they tell me is that you'll visit and you'll come back but i know it won't ever be like how it used to be. I won't be able to stand in your doorway and watch you work wonders, or help you with another project, we'll never play legos again or sit and watch awful movies just to laugh at them. I'm sorry i ran, i'm sorry i left that letter. I want to go back to when we were equals, i'm not perfect and i'll always be your stupid little brother. I hope we're still best friends, i won't ask because i know the answer.