being autistic and lacking the prerequisites

something that has always kind of sucked and i didnt even realize until a few years ago that this was my issue is, like ... i am genuinely thought to be stupid by alot of people because i lack alot of fundamental concepts and teachings that i missed out on due to my circumstances.

it was probably only the past few years i actually learned the order of the months, only recently ive learned how to do alot of things. being autistic is like everyone hates you for no reason and theyre all smarter than you. everyone was just born with knowledge you inherently lack.

with academics i tended to struggle alot, especially with math (in part because of dyscalculia, on top of the aforementioned lack of fundamentals) because i just wasnt taught properly. if you didnt get something it was kind of just tough shit. 

only a few months ago did i learn shit like percentages and what not. because nobody just took the time to try and teach it to me at a pace that worked for me, and in a way that made sense. which isnt necessarily me blaming my schools or parents--they did their best (though my schools often sucked). it was more complicated than being any one persons fault.

it feels silly, too, getting things now that i just couldnt get when i was younger. especially when i teach it to myself instead of relying on others to explain it in a very narrow sort of way, i guess? these concepts feel so simple and i feel silly for not knowing for so long!!!!! 

it sucks having to learn (AND struggle) with elementary level math (and general academics, but math is a big one). and its hard to tell how much of it is me "not being smart" and how much of it is just Not being taught properly. along with my very severe issues with memory with math in specific?????? idfk why.

on top of everything else alot of my school years were spent just trying to survive or actively repressing memories so i never could actually put real effort into learning? and even what i did learn i ended up forgetting cause i forgot like 75% of my childhood!!!!!!!!

but anyways i guess it sucked realizing ive been treated like im stupid my entire life when it was never really my fault. point being you more often than not arent actually stupid, and just lack prerequisites or fundamental info, or maybe nobody bothered to teach you in a way that worked for you. valley OUTTTTTTTT!!!!