New Year's Resolution

I've been debating on what to write as my first blog on here for a while, and I decided why not post regarding the start of this new year. 

If I'm being honest, this last year was rough for me. At the beginning of 2025 I lost a lot of people, family members and friends and it was really hard to move on from the losses from most of the year. If I'm being honest, I've been a bit in limbo since 2024, hell even sooner than that. It never really felt as if I was fully living. So much of my time has been spent indoors and just rotting, even now as I'm writing this, I have to admit that I haven't left my bed more than a handful of times today. The lack of motivation to do anything in the last year is slowly killing my spirit and I'm tired of it. 

Which leads me to the title of this blog, I decided what my New Years Resolution this year is going to be, though it's more of an idea, but my resolution is to live more. 

I don't want to spend another year feeling like I haven't done anything as a person, it's a suffocating feeling.  This year I want to let myself have fun and just actually be me. 

I want to have adventures, I want to reconnect with friends and family members, I want to take care of myself and go do things I genuinely enjoy even if no one wants to join for the events. 

I already have found an apartment in a bigger city that I am planning to move to, I applied and was accepted into culinary school, I have plans to drive from Iowa to Tennessee with my sister for a MCR/PTV concert, I'm flying by myself to go meet one of my best friends who lives across the country from me, I'm going to buy myself a ticket to a fantasy ball that no one else really wants to go to, I'm looking into piercers and tattoo artists. 

This year might not end up being my year, hell 2026 will probably suck as a whole, but I refuse to regret it like I have the last several years. 

My year will be interesting to say the least and I will let myself finally have fun.