its 2026!

Its 2026, somehow! I want to step back from modern social media this year. I miss the era of blogs and websites. I've been trying to learn how to code so I can make my own Neocities website. The modern internet can be so overwhelming, but I dont want to let go of the internet completely. 

My relationship with the internet has soured in the last couple years, and I'm hoping retreating back to quiet places like this will help me rebuild a healthy relationship with the internet. I love to write, I love to just yap into the void about my thoughts, its so fun. I'd love to write essays, just for fun someday, maybe start a youtube channel. I love yapping. 

2025 as a year was so overstimulating it felt like overdosing on an edible. Everything is so nauseating and terrible, you wonder if it will ever end. If you'll be stuck like this forever. 2025 was so inherritley dogshit it felt like being trapped in purgatory. SO when christmas finally rolled around, it felt surreal. There'd been this hot bubbling anxiety in my stomach as the new year approached, as the last 5 new years had seemed to only increase in terribleness. However, when the new year did arrive, something felt a little different. I wonder if somehow this year is the year where something has to give. Things do not simply keep getting worse. They get worse, then someday, they get better. Life cannot exist without balance, even in a world of extremes, so surely things will eventually spill into the other direction? 

Maybe I'm getting my hopes up for no reason, maybe things will become even worse and the capitalistic facist hell state of my country will become even more explicit in its lack of care for its citizens than last year. But maybe it wont. Maybe this five year long dream state I've been in since covid will clear up. Maybe this is the year I lock in and get my life going. Maybe its the year YOU will? I dont know. Its a nice thought, if nothing else. 

I hope to write more small journalistic entries like this in the future. My writing skills have dulled quite a bit since I was consistently writing everyday in 2020. By the end of the pandemic, i'd written so much I'd completely burnt myself out, and I never really picked it back up again. But I feel as though that feeling has finally waned. I want to write again, I want to write more. I love writing. It feels good to love writing again. 

Happy 2026 to the void I now scream into.