What I Did. What Was Done to Me

I never told anyone this, but middle school broke me. I was bullied constantly, threatened by one kid for years, and most people watched while teachers rarely helped. Being labeled special and placed in certain classes made me feel marked even when I did well. I acted out for attention and care, made bad choices, brought a Nerf gun to school, got suspended, and lied out of fear, which I regret deeply. I was attacked by another student, mocked afterward, paid someone out of fear, and got yelled at home, leaving me ashamed. Kids pressured me to harass girls when I did not understand consent or boundaries, and I carry guilt for crossing lines to fit in. Even friends crossed my boundaries. One friend smacked me on my private area after I told him to stop. Another time, a friend harassed me, l hugged him, and he started humping me. I froze and felt powerless. I kept all of this inside, carrying fear, guilt, and shame for years. I share this now because silence kept the pain alive. I own my mistakes and name the harm done to me. This story explains where I come from. It does not define who l choose to be.