friends and no friends

【Hi everyone and welcome to the blog, yes, yes I know I haven't been that active but its new year so *drum sound* happy new year¡ I'm not promising to be more active, but something is better than nothing (＾ｖ＾）】  

well, its been a time, Many things have happened to me, some good and some not so good, generally more good than bad, but that's life. What good is it if only good things happen?

Bad things help us appreciate what we have and all that stuff people say

friends and no friends

ZH:

 i want to talk about my friends and my no longer friends, remember about ZH? hes no my friend now He thought he was in love with me. When this happened, Nira and I stopped talking, but I'll tell you about that later.

ZH thought he was in love with me, and I found out by chance (or by pure deduction) since it was on TikTok one night, and I kept insisting that he tell me he was indeed in love with me, or so we both thought. I thought that when someone tells you they're in love with you and you like them, then you become a couple, and that's what we did. We were a couple for about six months, but our relationship was awful because everything was fake in a way. We both knew it, but we liked that feeling of "he's mine," "I belong to him," "I'm someone's favorite."

I think ZH doesn't know how to have relationships; he's a very unstable person. When we were dating, I had this feeling that I had to fight for his attention, and it made me angry because his friends were more romantic than I was, and I was more of a friend than his friends. We both confused love with friendship. If we hadn't said "I love you" so casually... If we were romantic, we'd still be friends because somehow I picked up his tastes. I watched all the Marvel movies and then I remembered he likes Marvel, not me. He likes Benedict, not me but its okay because they are my tastes now It makes me a little angry because he had the nerve to break up with me, even though we had both drifted far enough apart that it didn't hurt

Nira:

 habia escrito esto en español  y lo estaba traduciendo en ingles  porque no quiero pensar pero se a borrado todo asi que lo dire en espaoñol

nos alejamos y volvimos pero ya no como pareja sino como amigos, fue incomodo al inicio porque todo lo nuevo parece incomodo ahora pero luego volvimos a hacer los de antes, volvimos a lo nuevo sin repetir lo anterior pero de alguna forma el me seguia queriendo a pesar de todo lo que le hice, le dije que no podia salir con el y el entendio

I know it's very brief, but I had described everything so that it would be deleted, so I was annoyed But the important thing is that he's still in my life—the year before last, last year, and this year. I hope he'll still be with me this year

classmate: 

I have many classmates. I changed classrooms because when we finished a certain period, we were separated by abilities, and I went to the social studies classroom. It was a happy thing because debating, speaking, reflecting, thinking, and reading are my strengths. I love it, but my friends don't as much; they're more into numbers, so they went to math. My world changed, and I'm someone who's never completely sure. I'm not sure if my friends are really friends, if I'm learning, if the people around me value me, and when I'm sure and the situation changes, it's very difficult to be sure again.

In my classroom, I hung out with a former classmate who's really funny. She had a friend named Tulipan. Tulipan seemed serious and imposing to me. They hung out with Ale. Ale is quiet. I knew her, but I never really saw her as a person, as someone with depth. I always focused on the superficial, not knowing what she wanted, just living that facade of mystery and all that. But even so, I value her. I know it sounds really mean of me, but I'm just being honest, and I'm not insulting her, just describing her.

Little by little, I've been getting used to these people, and what was once Tulipan, so serious, I've realized is actually quite fun. I still don't know if I'd consider them my friends, but it's curious that they talk more than my previous friends. I'm not comparing them, it's just an observation.

I still talk to my old friends, and I really like Naho because she's always there for me. She's listened to all my dramas and fears and never judged me, even though I'm a bit odd