Honestly it’s kinda difficult to cry

So I’ve only managed to cry a couple days ago, and to be frank (with no Anne) I don’t remember why I did, maybe it was because something my girlfriend did that made me so happy or something I kinda forgot, but what I do remember is that, I took me a minute to cry and let everything out, i literally couldn’t cry at all even though I felt it coming up, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t do it, it wasn’t until I heard my girlfriend say, “it’s okay to cry, just let it all out baby” was when I kinda started to break down, and thinking back on it, I don’t know why i needed her permission to fully let myself cry, even then I try not to cry, or tell anyone about it because I wanna be strong, both mentally and physically, but I guess sometimes I can’t really keep that true, since I guess everyone does need to let out a good cry every once in a while, because I just felt amazing after crying because I got to let everything out of my system