Rant / about the crush

ok so idk why I do feel like he acts like this guy likes me and I don't want this to be some delusionalship or whatever the fuck but I spent my entire life alone and then in mid July all of a sudden everybody wants me and I date for the first time in my life, go through hell and back. and continue that cycle, even though I got broken up with beginning of august bc I got cheated on. but it's an and off relationship with that guy and then we got back together for a week and the week that ended, I get a whole new boyfriend and I wasn't fully over my ex who kept tormenting me while in the relationship and then everything seems fine and dandy once I cut off my ex at that point, and then not long later my boyfriend breaks up with me. so now I have 2 exes and I have been dating two people for half the year straight and now I dont talk to either of them and idk how to be single anymore even though I was literally for again, my entire life. like I was behind on dating at the time too I felt like that, everyone had dated BUT me. and bro I'll be honest I have a hard time handling it because I don't handle breakups well and yk what I am mentally ill just like my ex said. but yk what idgaf bc that's me. I don't excuse my actions for it, but hey it's not really my fault. anyway back to this guy. he likes all my stories, sends me lots of reels, we talk everyday, and sends me photos of himself, is the first to like any post with me in it (mine or a friends post). but AGAIN he has a girlfriend and acts as if him and his girlfriend barley talk or anything and I'm not getting involved in that. now, aside from that. things were going great with us, and then I see this random girl posted a thing on Instagram with the song "fooled around and fell in love" and has no guy in any of the photos except for one photo, of her and the guy I like playing fortnite together and tagged him. (It also had the gift I gave him in fortnite so it had to of been right after his call with me when he said he would call me back and didn't. then again we were on the phone for 2+ hours and pretty much in comfortable silence.) but this girl, is only followed by him and I'll be fully honest he liked a lot of her posts and look they could be "just friends" but it's weird because she lives in another state.. like maybe it's an online friend but even so, she likes ALL the same things as him. all marvel, DC, superhero stuff. plays fortnite with him and her outfits are kinda like revealing?? idk I'm not saying it to judge her but I am definitely jealous and I find it weird that she is the one calling him and playing fortnite all the time, and I haven't seen a photo of them in person with each other but like if I was his girlfriend idk I wouldn't really want him playing on call with other girls and stuff??? like don't get me wrong it could be a situation like it's a cousin maybe or something but I dont have a clue. it just seems strange and I feel guilty for being like nosy and jealous when I'm not even dating the guy!!! but he acts like he likes me like brooooooo. he has more friends who are girls that ik than guys💔. thats the scenario with every guy I'm intrested in. (aside from a select few who never liked me back). so I'm ngl it just put me in a shitty mood and it's new years eve and I have to post my sweet 16 pictures and my 2025 photodump or whatever but yea I'm too lazy to do that rn and too mad anyway. I feel like Im acting so much more cringy rn but I think it's definitely bc I'm mad and jealous for no specific reason but. essentially, yeah. 🩷