why is it so hard to be good at anything

Hi, I'm posting another blog because number 1 I have no friends, and number 2 I'm bored.

It's so unfair on how whenever I try to do something, and I DO practice, it just turns out like absolute crap. For context, there's this girl in my class, and she's really sweet. She's like one of my first ever friends at my school, and I have nothing bad to say about her. The only problem is, it feels like I'm a bootleg version of her.

Every FRICKING time I try to study and do this and blah blah blah, she does it BETTER. We both like art, and she's so GOOD at drawing realistic art. When she is painting, it is perfect. Drawing, perfect. Handwriting, perfect. Grades, perfect. Body, perfect. EVERYTHING SHE HAS IS PERFECT. IT'S SO DAMN UNFAIR BECAUSE SHE'S THE PERSON I'VE TRIED SO HARD TO BE, AND SHE DOES IT PERFECTLY. I HATE IT SO MUCH. She's the person that is SO GOOD AT EVERY FRICKING SUBJECT AND THING AND I JUST WANT TO SLAP MYSELF AND CRY UNTIL I CAN'T ANYMORE. I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M SO ENVIOUS AND JEALOUS, BECAUSE I'M MY OWN PERSON, AND SHE'S HER OWN.

It just hurts to see her. EVERY TIME we have tests, she GETS A PERFECT SCORE. IT'S SO UNFAIR. WHEN WE HAVE ASSIGNMENTS, IT'S THE DEFINITION OF PERFECT. I hate it SO MUCH. She's good at volleyball, drawing, writing, literally ANYTHING. I can't do this anymore.

And the unfair fact, I get ONE LESS AFTER HER. In tests, assignments, names, ANYTHING. We're always near each other in class, and whenever I look over or ask what she got, SHE GOT HIGHER THAN ME. It's STUPID, I know, but it HURTS. When I FINALLY get the spotlight that I've wanted for so long, to be recognized by my classmates, to be called ABOVE average, she comes and RUINS IT. She ALWAYS does better than me, I hate it. I wish I was her.

Ok bye anyways i feel better now i wrote this, since nobdy wil read this HEHE