NYE Diary Entry 1/31/25

Yesterday, I was inspired by Didion to write down every thought I had in my notes. 

Heres the full brain dump, you might see these ideas turn into full fledged writing pieces soon. LMK if theres any in particular that are interesting: 

Tonight

the facade of universal studios seems realistic today

The buildings of SoHo were the faces of note dame 

And every person was an actor, or an angel sent to mock me with their style and wealth

To steer me towards God and ambition

I knew that it was mocking because I too loved to strut down and mock the ghosts with my grace and addled trinkets 

the dream of a bully is to be commended 

but the side that is saved  is rewarded with silence, which is not the same as praise

Immediately after reading great writers

I parrot their voice in my journals

today I’m finishing up didion and I find myself observational and frabk

I call myself a writer but I am listless and bored and I haven’t written anything substantial but academic papers

Were the founding fathers not writers? I guess they became so after waxing about philosophy 

I met a guy at a chess shop

I insulted him (I think, I hadn’t meant to but I fear he thought me cold)

I wish I could be friend men still without that sinister fate of attraction

I find them to be  very transparent and more accepting of how rough I am 

Women are less so out of protection 

But their company has  always been stronger and rewarding 

I guess sometimes I want to be friends casual/deep

all men's friends are casual/deep

an active mind and a body that’s dead and decayed 

it hurts and its probably happened before 

the cold is never bitter too me, it feels like sweetness on a rotten tooth the way it stings.