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It’s the last day of the year...
I keep thinking about everything more than I thought I would
or whatever
interrupting
no that’s not right
there’s this noise that shows up sometimes
BLEED BLEED BLEED
I don’t act on anything i’m not doing anything
but it still shows up and lingers longer than it should
maybe it’s because i know i’m the one who has to live with the scars
or maybe i’m just tired
or avoiding something without realizing it
maybe it’s laziness
that doesn’t feel like the right word
idk why everything needs a reason
WHO?
that’s not what i meant
i wish i had someone here irl someone who will stay for a while
but everything restarts after a few months HATE
maybe that’s a pattern
maybe that’s just how this works now
or if it’s something about me.
things are fine
things are fine
nothing is happening
things are “good” right now i guess
nothing bad is happening
but nothing is happening either
R U WAITING?
my fish died a while ago
i didn’t feel anything about it
i had this thought tho
Should i stick it to the wall?
press it into a book?
but that’s stupid
things rot.
STARS! STARS! STARS!
i want stars everywhere 
cover it
cover the walls
cover the empty parts
fill it up enough then it won’t feel so quiet.
that’s childish...
why is it quiet
why is it still quiet
R U STILL HERE??
maybe next year will make sense
or maybe it won’t
i have been here for a while...
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