lukewarm take i kinda don't mind being a teenager highkey

30/12/2025 22:15h

okay so this rant is super long, annoying and makes absolutely zero sense, but im growing up. and it's fun. little me was right.

in my midst of being self deprecating and painfully annoying myself to the point of genuine hair ripping, i *occasionally* think im pretty cool. 

i have two older sisters, who are both about a decade older than me (10 years and 9 years), which means that i spent most of my early development watching how they interacted with the world, the internet, social and fashion trends and being exceedingly jealous that they'd never let me into their clique.

i still remember how isolating it felt. my mom refreshed my memory with a very familiar anecdote; one night, my older sisters were gossiping in their bedroom. i remember this bedroom soooo damn vividly, it had pastel pink/purple walls, tons of their pictures and jewelry everywhere, two bed places the corner of the room with my oldest sister's bed pressed against the front of the wall horizontally while the other one was pressed to the left wall vertically.

 their bright purple pillows touching, the room had that weird floral smell every millennial/older gen z smells like, and they gossiped about everyone and anyone in their grade. i, unsuccessfully, always tried to intrude on these nightly gossip sessions. and they, inevitably, would always kick me out. and each time, id go to my mother and I'd, very hopefully cheer, "it's okay, I'll try again soon!"

I'm, weirdly, the same age they were now. and looking at my teenaged face, i look almost exactly like a mix of the both of them. combined with the personalities of the characters i used to watch on those corny disney/nickelodeon shows, like jade from victorious or sam from sam and cat.

i think im doing everything little me thought i would be doing. side quests after school, sneaking out, falling in and out of love, having awesome friends, smoking and drinking (psa pls don't do that part i hate myself), being young and stupid and emotional and irrational. 

i never really wanted to be mature, nor do i particularly have an interest in that now either. i remember seeing a post about an arg centered around some random day in april 2026 being the day where we all kinda stop and stay the same age for all of eternity. and i genuinely, don't think I'd have a problem with it. at all.

i mean sure, being an adult seems cool. in some capacity. a job, apartment, living alone, all that good stuff. but, to be honest, i kind of have all my life to be an adult. and i only have like, 18 years or so to be a kid. like a proper kid. 

in short, the h in hormones stands for happy. (it doesn't, im suffering and trying to find a silver lining where there is none)