Poem

i use shitty poetry as a coping mechanism and i was having some serious relationship anxiety a few days ago but i lowkey dont actually hate this so im throwing it at you guys. i love my boyfriend btw he isnt the problem at ALL im just ill.

Crash by Thorne_IsDeadxX

Never have I felt such a fear, such a paranoia gripping me by the neck and twisting me around.

I hate that I love you. I hate that I can’t leave you, it’s safer, but I can’t. I don’t want to. I need you too much.

You have this control over me that nobody has before, and I can’t stand it. You’ve taken the wheel from hands and now I have to let you drive. I’m so afraid to crash.

If you decide to swerve, I cannot stop you, but I know I’ll go down with the crash. My life on the line for the roadtrip of a lifetime with the only person I would ever want to spend it with. I need you, and I’m so afraid.

Every little move I make, every little thing you say, I wonder if this is it. If you’ll finally swerve and take me down with you. I know it’ll happen eventually, it has to, that’s how things go… but I hope and hope every day that it never does. I don’t want to crash. I want to drive for the rest of forever with you.

Our names were forever intertwined… and now they aren’t. Now, you can crash. Now, you don’t need me the way I need you. I hate it. I still need you. We can never separate ourselves from the characters weve become, and I want you to love me for me. All of me.

I miss you. I’m afraid of you. I know that no matter what, I cannot lose you.