GOD-mode empathy

i have a problem

i’m hyper empathetic.

and you might think "oh but that's good, empathy is important because-" NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME

LITERALLY I'M TOO EMPATHETIC. I'M SO EMPATHETIC THAT I MAKE PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE

and my empathy is so big that it makes me give excessive apologies. and those apologies somehow force the other person to comfort ME for feeling bad for making THEM feel uncomfortable.

my most toxic relationship is:

1. i see someone vulnerable

2. i empathize hard

3. i want to do something, I NEED TO DO SOMETHING

4. i offer comfort

5. but the other person didn't ask for that 

6. they feel invaded

7. i want to disappear... but since i can't, i apologize

and it didn't happen to me once, but SIX TIMES, AND ONLY BY THE FOURTH TIME I TELL MYSELF "MM, I THINK I'M DOING SOMETHING REGULARLY WRONG"

I'M SO SLOW, OK???

sorry chikibeibis (i just discovered that word, it's so silly), this isn't against you. it's with myself

BUT! (there's always a "but") i'm receiving advice, not because i'm bad, but because i'm still learning to regulate myself

i discovered the traffic light rule, which explains how to identify what a person is asking for (to listen, to accompany or to advise), and i feel it will help me a lot for future interactions.

shall we make a toast? i toast to a 2026 full of good experiences and normal empathy, cheers! 🥂