leather hearts ♥︎♡

we speak in hellos, and his we don't say no goodbyes - all hugs and high fives. I'm crying, your lying. I can't think straight, oh man but I'm trying. you say "I don't wanna lead her on" and my bestfriend, well she tells me what's going on. Sing another song, like you did when we were together. 2:45 by Elliott, your favorite. all our old messages are gone, and I wonder if it is bad that I'm still lingering on. I harp on the fact, that you were in love. you claim that, unconditional touch. to you it's love. to me it's push and shove, and I can't lie, sometimes I miss the memories, they don't phase me. it was so perfect in a moment, and came crashing down in the next. it always ends at it's best. I know I know that. even with the other guy, my second boyfriend in highschool. we would exchange locker notes, and everytime he'd laugh I nearly choked. I loved that innocent love, he said I hurt him too much. I don't understand my issue, it's all tears and tissues. mascara down my face, smudged eyeshadow, looking like a princess, oh darling I must confess, I'm a mess. I just want to be myself with someone who is understanding and accepting the way I am, I wouldn't need to change, just to grow, in years where they're replaced by my fears. feathered textures, and tethered hearts. it's painfully easy, to look me in my face and say you don't need me.