I feel so out of place

I am literally so lonely I’m not even joking.

But when I’m with people, like my friend group (who are all closer to each other than me) I feel so out of place and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do I feel like an alien so I feel like I act out to fill that space. But at the end of the day, I go home and I’m alone again. 

I have a boyfriend, but he has his own friends too. He spends more time with them with me, which is kind of understandable because he’s closer to them than to me (he’s 30 minutes away) but he’ll spend hours with them and then call me at like 11:30pm and fall asleep with hardly any conversation so I’m still lonely then. 

I’ve talked to him about how lonely I am and he says “I’m your friend, you have me.” but like, when you’re with YOUR friends, who do I have?

And that circles back to even if I did have them I don’t know what to do with friends either or in a social setting. It’s not like I’m introverted, I’m extroverted. I just feel clueless. 

I go off to college next fall and I’ve been super attached to my mom because of this stuff, so the I’ll be lonelier without my mom and social skills.

I’m genuinely so lost.