I hate living in a homophobic country :(

For context i live in Nigeria, it's so homophobic it's suffocating. I'm a 14 yr old raging lesbian but it's so hard to get a gf or even relate with other queer ppl here because they're either, closeted, have internalized homophobia, are out but too old, are out but not my type, or are dead bc ppl think offing gay ppl is more important than making the country better. Like in October this year a gay guy was thrown off a fucking building simply bc he's gay but a guy and his son who raped his wife's 8 yr old niece were still free after 5 years and the only person to serve time was the wife for child neglect ??????????? The girl died at 13 BTW #jusiceforOchanya<3

Anyway, my family isn't necessarily homophobic, except for the older gens but idc much about what they think but it makes me sad when i remember they won't be at my wedding especially since Nigerian weddings are a huge thing. Another thing is finding a gf, especially with ppl my age. They are another level of stupid. Girls i know are obsessed with Chappell Roan, KWN, Kehlani and the rest but when they hear abt a lesbian around them suddenly it's disgusting. Or the ones that want gay guy friends but hate on lesbians or the ones that say and do the gayest shit alive but are homophobes????? Like my "friends" deadass call each other their wives and some call me and other girls baby girl and are homophobes. I know girls are like that sometimes but it really annoys me, especially when it's someone i like.

Speaking of which, i don't get crushers as often as i did when i thought i liked guys. I've sort of desensitized myself to not liking any girls in my class or friend group, it doesn't work and i get sad when i find out they hate gay ppl. i do it bc i already know it won't work out but my brain short circuits when i see a girl my type. 

That's all, i'm just ranting but i'm also hungry so... yeah. <3333333