things people pretend to enjoy

I’ve started spending a lot more time around adults in the last few months, and I’ve noticed some behaviours that feel almost impressive in how performative they are. Naturally, I decided to overanalyse them.

First of all: beer.

There’s this one person who always drinks beer at functions. So the logical conclusion would be that they like beer. But no. Because the moment there’s beer mixed with Coca-Cola or an Aperol Spritz option, they immediately choose that instead. At the supermarket, they wait until everyone else has picked their drink, usually beer and then choose beer as well. While drinking it, they always stay with the slower drinkers. Except when it’s beer mixed with something. Then it mysteriously disappears much faster.

So the question is: why pretend to enjoy beer of all things?

I’m very open about not liking beer and no one cares. No one has ever cared. So what makes someone feel like they have to do this to themselves? Is it convenience? Social anxiety? Fear of standing out? Or is beer just the most socially acceptable lie?

Idk. But it feels intentional.

Second observation: waking up early.

Who genuinely wants to wake up at 6 in the morning? No one. You do it because you have to- to get to work, to have more time before your obligations, or because your internal clock hates you.

So why do some people get offended when you say you prefer sleeping longer?

Is there such a thing as a performative morning routine? Because that’s the only explanation I can come up with. It feels like a weird competition.
“Hah, I only slept six hours.”
You want a medal or…? Even writing that sentence makes me cringe. (And this obviously isn’t about people with sleep disorders or anything that actually prevents them from sleeping.)

And finally: LinkedIn.

Do you genuinely expect me to believe that, given the choice, you’d rather scroll LinkedIn than TikTok or Instagram?