Tired, and talks about Christmas

Its just me or whole Christmas lose the vibe and meaning after years? 

Like I totally don’t want it, my family (mom side) are always arguing. And if someone says that two Christmas at Dad’s and at mom’s is super cool. No its not. I need to spend time with my dad’s gf, it’s not rlly super bc I saw her ONCE and now I need to spend with her Christmas? 

Life is super messed up and the only feeling I have today is hate, stress and anxiety. I will hear arguing on freaking Christmas dinner. I can’t dress up in my style bc my family will start yelling at me bc I look different. 

And yea in my country we more celebrate Christmas on 24th