Poisoned ☠️

I felt like that again. I saw it coming, but at the same time, I didn't. I feel like my flesh and soul are slowly disintegrating, while my mind loses control.

I think I believed I could live in a fantasy of emotional well-being, but it's not like that. The punishment will return along with my nausea and pain.

My throat is knotted, my eyes are drowning in tears, my stomach is empty, my body is feeding on itself, my lips are bleeding, my lungs are filled with smoke, my face is covered in dirt and makeup.

What should I do? I always fall into the same trap: the urge to get away from everyone, my room in chaos and disorder, me rotting in my bed, dirty from not being able to get up and tired from existing.

Those thoughts are back, the ones where I die in different ways, successfully reaching my end. I'm drowning in this, in this depression and this poison.