inside my head

I once believed I was loved by the people around me. I felt it, or at least I thought I did. But after sitting with my thoughts, I realize that something is missing, I don’t truly feel loved. Why do I so often feel like I am too much? Like my presence asks for more than others are willing to give? I carry this constant fear of being disturbing, of taking up too much space simply by needing. Yet all I long for is to feel welcome, to feel wanted without having to beg for it. I want attention that comes freely, listening that doesn’t feel forced, love that is spoken aloud and not left to guesswork. I want people to acknowledge their love for me openly, without hesitation or embarrassment. Sometimes I wonder if I am a burden, if there is something shameful about wanting to be held emotionally. I ask myself whether I am too complicated, too intense, too difficult to love. But deep down, I know this desire is not excess, it is human. It is the quiet hope of someone who wants to be seen, chosen, and cared for without having to make themselves smaller....