there are multiple people that you consist of

sometimes it goes by unnoticed or considered, but your personality consists of multiple people's habits or personalities blended together into one person, that person being you

people who you may have known way back, years ago, possibly in the earliest childhood memories, or close friends who you have parted with, perhaps that you still know.. the vocabulary, habits, ways of thinking, humor, speech/tone, likes and dislikes, etc

this doesn't apply only to family and friends, but maybe even people that you plainly have grown up with watching on the internet... that's easy to identify though, since ancient youtube has impacted us all in some way im assuming, or like a network channel i guess. we naturally take the mental and behavioral traits of people that appeal to us (?or also if you're still a very young child, silently taking bad behaviors from those weird elsagate influencers because they, at that time, were "normal" and "cool" to us) who are by us and use those traits, slowly shift into those traits and one by one, evolve into the own person we are, which i think significantly does has a lot of changes during the teen years with hormone development all that. i don't exactly know how to explain this topic without going all over the place, but hopefully it isn't difficult to understand what i'm trying to say, and hopefully i don't sound like i'm having some insane sleepy thoughts

the person you are today may not be you. it might a collection of things you like, the way you were raised, people you are surrounded by, but it might not even be you, or, it possibly might... maybe all of this is just a yapalog, most of it came from multiple random thoughts at night, maybe we are just silly people walking back and forth who start off by their actual, own likes then build off of that from individuals with similar interests and so on

and those people that have influenced you, are also not themselves. they are fusions of other people in their lives that, came to be, themselves. and those other people that influenced that person, have also evolved from... other people... and it keeps going...

think of yourself right now, why do you like the things that you do? why do you behave the way that you do and why do you talk the way you do? is your way of speaking influenced off of others you knew or do you just like/think speaking/acting the way you do is right? do you really like this thing or have you led yourself into the illusion that you do, or did it start off that way and really turn into something genuine?

this is my first blog post, i apologize it's messy but i promise it'll get better as i write more here. it's just a random thought i wanted to talk about if maybe someone else has contemplated about this. or maybe you think i'm just saying random crap, let me know))

~ rapira