Report Blog Entry
Humans would choose a familiar hell rather than an unfamiliar heaven. This means that your mind will unconsciously have you gravitate towards people who treat you in the same manner your parents did, even if this treatment is unfavorable.
How would this ever gets better pls for once I want to choose the right person for myself not someone wrong cuz no matter what i have been keep repeating the cycle and I choose same type of people
Comments
Displaying 2 of 2 comments ( View all | Add Comment )
LibbyJardine
A lot of that will be healing parental wounds and figuring out what is or isnt acceptable behavior in a relationship for you. Learning to set and enforce boundaries. Learning to let people go when they overstep them. Demanding better for yourself, and of yourself, because you deserve it. You dont deserve to be caught in the cycle you see yourself in. No one does. Although it may be hard, and it may take time, it'll be worth it in the end.
Where do I start the healing tho it's so tiring to do and guess even after so much of knowing I am still stuck like gawd I can't it's so fucked up and worst is when u get attached to that bad pattern even after figuring it out
by chan; ; Report
prettyfly(forawhitegirl)
oh my goodness, i've literally never related with something more
i understand exactly where you're coming from and it sucks :( it's like, why am i not choosing better for myself!? i know i deserve it (somewhat..) but also it's so much better for my mental health and i can't seem to choose correctly 
What do I do girl
by chan; ; Report
well, it makes sense you keep choosing familiar/similar partners — our brains look for what feels known, not what’s healthy. our patterns come from what we learned growing up so it’s completely natural. you could try writing down the traits your past partners had and what felt familiar about them — especially the parts that hurt. therapy, journaling, or self-work can help you sort out what love looked like growing up so you can choose differently now. and remember that sometimes the ‘spark’ you feel with them is actually anxiety. when finding a new partner, calm, consistent people or certain traits they have might not feel exciting yet, but they’re often safer because it’s what you’re used to, even if those things are bad for you or hurting you. you should give yourself time before getting attached — watch how someone handles stress, boundaries, and disagreement. those patterns show up when you rush things. start focusing on boundaries, not just chemistry. the right person WILL respect your limits! making you feel respected. if someone pushes your boundaries or makes you feel small early on, that’s your sign to move on or leave for your own sake — even if the chemistry is strong. and try not to push those feelings aside (the ones where you know your boundaries are being crossed or pushed) staying or letting someone hurt you is not going to make them like you more or love you - it will only give them them the thoughts that they can continue to hurt you and you will stay no matter what. and girl the fact you see there's a cycle happening means you are already starting to break it. awareness is the first step to change. Next time you’re drawn to someone or find yourself catching feelings for someone, make sure to reflect and ask yourself “is this person respecting me, making me feel valued and safe, or anxious and unsure?” and hopefully that will help!
by prettyfly(forawhitegirl); ; Report
Thank you sm it is helpful especially the last where you told me to question myself
by chan; ; Report
yes of course!! sorry if it was a long read, but i truly know how it feels to be in your situation and i just want to help as much as possible!!
by prettyfly(forawhitegirl); ; Report
Obviously not it was everything I needed tysm:3
by chan; ; Report