Really shitty poem

BIG TW!!! MENTIONS OF SUICIDE!!!

BIG DISCLAIMER!!!!!!! I am not going to EVER commit, I have such amazing friends and they help get me through life, this was just made so I can vent, because this is where I spew all my word garbage 

Sometimes I think about killing myself 

That's all there really is to say

It's a thought that I don't like

I try and squash it like a bug 

But like a cockroach it'll stay down for a second

And then spring back to life

It's like a constant nagging

And I hate it

I truly do 

But sometimes when I'm sitting alone

After being yelled at

Breathing so fast I feel dizzy

Crying so much my eyes hurt

It bites at me

I think it's just because I want an escape

I want some control 

I try and squish it with the thought of what would happen after

My friends missing me

My little sister, left all alone 

But yet it just comes back

I'll never do it

Hell, I've already lived past the age I never thought I'd make it to

But yet it's still there

I think there's something wrong with me

I need to find some help

One day it'll get better 

But until then

I'll continue to squash that bug

And hope one day it'll die